is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
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whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
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Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
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