i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
