I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize