So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
