hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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