my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
