Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
