Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
