you traded sex for a burrito?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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