well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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