***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
