eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Randomize
