Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Couch. On fire.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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