so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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