he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
