Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
