you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
