AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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