he thought i was a dude.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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