Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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