My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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