I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
