just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
