she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
