you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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