What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
