It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In other news, I just burned my penis
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
did i just pee glitter
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
