I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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