Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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