remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
