I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
True strength comes from lack of pants
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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