her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
