At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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