just come out here and I will go home with you...
I could make wine with my vomit
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
