If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
