Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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