got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize