with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
