I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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