yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
