i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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