You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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