so explain again why im purple
no
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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