I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse