It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal