im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
