saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize