had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
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