I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
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