I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
