The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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