I have demons in me.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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