guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
