this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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