She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
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Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
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I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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