did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Randomize
