Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
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New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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