What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.