wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster