You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch