Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
